| Current mood: |  annoyed |
| Entry tags: | adult, alchohol, arrogance, being a parent, cigarettes, ignorance, money, parenthood, shopping, stupidity, wal-mart |
The Hall of Shame
The Hall of Shame
Written by a Wal-Mart employee: M. R. D.
Warning: This entry contains bitching, ranting, and complaining. It is dedicated to all my favorite customers that I come across while working at Wal-Mart. It shall reveal true stupidity, ignorance, and arrogance in everyday people. Hell, you might even be one of them!
These are in no particular order:
- Here's a classic. I absolutely love it when people do not use dividers. Because they're really just there for show and not for letting me know when your stuff ends and the next person's begins. Here's a wonderful example: A woman didn't put a divider down and so I started scanning stuff that wasn't her's and I was trying to get the attention of some customers that were getting in my line even though I was closing, and the next person was on her cellphone. Then, after about 4 items later, the lady screams "For the tenth fucking time, that's not my stuff!!!" She either whispered it the first "nine times" or she's just a fucking bitch. Seriously, don't get mad at me if your shit ends up in someone else's bag. It's your own fucking fault.
- I get this everyday. When idiots don't use both handles on a bag. You know, when you grab the side of the bag or just one of the handles there's probably about a 75% chance your bag will bust because there's not enough support, but it won't be your fault. Oh no, you'd blame me for your stupidity. You'd say "You put too much stuff in my bag!" And then I'd feel like killing you, because you're a dumbass. The handles are NOT for show.
- This happens probably like every other customer. It's very inconsiderate AND lazy to throw extra bags on the floor. When you pull your bag of shit off, and you stupidly grab more than just yours, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't be a bitch and just toss them on the floor for me to pick up later or for someone else to slip on. Because if someone did slip on it, I'd be to blame, not you the one who actually threw them down there. It really isn't that difficult to hand them over to me.
- Why do people have kids? So that they can bother others at work, I guess. I HATE it when kids stand there and stare at every single move you make. I HATE it when kids want to scan the items themselves because it for some fucked up reason makes them feel important. And I REALLY HATE it when kids press buttons on my register or the card swipe machine. AND I REALLY FUCKING HATE it when parents watch and let all of this shit happen and do nothing to oh, I don't know be a parent and discipline their fucking brats.
- Speaking of the card swipe machine, if your card is declined, that's not my fault. That's your fault for being a poor-ass bitch. Screaming at me will get you nowhere. Nor will ripping the machine off the counter and mashing it to the floor (yes, that actually happened).
- Yes, your foodstamps card will only pay for the food. There's no need to separate all the food items from the non-food items and create two separate bills.
- I'll give you a hint about who you should ask when you need to find something. You should ask people in the particular DEPARTMENTS, because they stock stuff. Cashiers spend ALL of their time upfront at the register and do NOT know where everything is. Or, you can call me crazy, and go look for it yourself, you lazy-ass bitch.
- There's this very special lady I'd like to talk about. She came in seeming well in health. I scanned all of her things, gave her the total, she gave me the money, and I gave her the change. Then suddenly, without warning, she yelled "My arm is hurt, and I thought you were going to help me with my bags, but I guess you're not going to!!!" I suppose word has gotten around - I can indeed read minds. It's true! You don't need to tell me anything, especially something as important as one's arm being injured. OH NO! Please, keep all information to yourself! Yes, little old lady, I'm a mean ol' Wal-Mart employee who hates helping people. I somehow KNEW that your arm was hurt even though you had no cast on it, nor was it in a sling. Staying perfectly silent until you bursted into anger was surely the right thing to do!
- That reminds me of another little old lady. I scanned all of her things, gave her the total, she paid, and I gave her the change. Then she stood there staring at me for a few seconds and asked "Oh, is it self-service these days?" in an angry tone. I felt like saying "Why, yes it is. Exactly. This is Wal-Mart, lady." Seriously, if you want help with getting your bags into your cart, just ask. Being an arrogant bitch will not get you help on that.
- Can you read? Apparently lots of people can't. The "20 items or less" sign isn't for show. The bagging area and counter is designed for only a few items. So having a cart full of shit will not fit on the counter, nor will I have enough bagging space. Not to mention the people behind you in line that only have one or two things will now have to wait for your impatient ass to get through. So that makes you arrogant, impatient, and inconsiderate. Good job.
- If you grab something without a price tag or barcode, that's not my fault. So don't get bitchy with me when you're standing in line for an extra 10 minutes because I have to call the department for the barcode and they like to take their ol' sweet time. Nor is it my fault if the price rings up to something you don't like. If you don't like it, then don't get it.
- Speaking of prices, I hate matching to competitor's prices. Because these pathetic housewives with nothing better to do with their time like to buy every sales paper in the world and make a list of all the stuff they want, and make you match them all. This takes probably triple the time a regular order would take because I have to do a lot of shit in order to change all those prices.
- I don't double bag things for my health. It means the item is heavy and that it needs double the support to carry it. Grabbing the outside handles (meaning totally ignoring the fact that I double bagged) pretty much makes what I did pointless. If your bag bursts because you didn't grab all four handles, you can seriously fuck off.
- Register 15 is the ONLY register that sells cigarettes and tobacco products at the store I work at. No, I cannot walk over there and get you a pack and sell them to you at a different register. It really isn't that difficult to get into another line. In fact, technically we're not supposed to abandon our registers at all, especially for something that's about 10 registers down. That's why there's a designated register, otherwise they'd be at every register and minors wouldn't be able to work for Wal-Mart.
- Your eggs and bread are not going to explode if something else is bagged with them. I promise I'll put LIGHT items in with them. Seriously, I have no intention of smashing your bread or breaking your eggs. I have better things than that to do with my life. Perfect example: A little old lady yelled at me for putting a 16 slice pack of American cheese in with her carton of eggs. Oh yeah, let me tell ya, that cheese was going for the kill. Occasionally I put bag of chips in with bread, and some people act like I just put a gallon of milk in with it. Seriously, chill out, people.
- If you pick up a broken/damaged item, do NOT expect me to go and get another one for you, you lazy-ass bitch. I CANNOT leave my register, and nor can I call someone else away from their job just to do your shopping. You should pay more attention to the stuff you pick up, instead of talking on your damn cellphone all the time.
- If you come in with a $1,000+ paycheck to get cashed, do NOT do it in the early morning hours when the registers basically have nothing more than a few hundred dollars worth of ones, fives, tens, and change. And DO NOT bitch to me when you have to wait for a Customer Service Manager to come with a "loan" to my register because I do not have enough to give you. Seriously, ever heard of a bank since you got all that money?
- This is the story of a big, burly redneck. He was buying himself some manly energy drinks one night. He watched the prices go up on the register as I scanned each one. He handed over his money, and I handed back his change. I shut the drawer completely. He looks at his receipt for a few moments, and then proceeds to tell me that the prices that came up for those energy drinks were wrong and of course, he wants ME to fix it. Let me make this clear to you all, WE CASHIERS CANNOT DO REFUNDS!!! You have to go to the Customer Service Center, no matter how long the line is there! If you tell me about incorrect prices BEFORE we finish the transaction, then I can help you. Yes, please, storm away angrily to Customer Service and say that I was a mean ol' cashier who refused to give you a refund. They'll only agree with you because you're a customer, NOT because you're right.
- If you don't like waiting in line, then don't come to Wal-Mart during the holiday seasons. The line will be long, and slow no matter how much you bitch about it. From November to the end of December is the busiest time of the year for retail. If you can't handle it, then don't shop there.
- You do not have to fill out your check. You're just wasting time and holding up the line. The printers print out everything for you. Get with it, people.
- There are three kinds of Harry Potter movies being sold at Wal-Mart. One is the regular ol' copy of it, and it sells for $14 something, while there's another one that looks similar to it, but has an extra disc with a bunch of special features and shit on it. It sells for $20 something. Then there's a HP movie that sells with little HP toys on the side of the package. I don't remember what it sells for but it's more expensive than the regular ol' copy. I don't care what the sign said, these are the price differences, and no, I cannot change them for you. Just because you see a sign that says $14 something doesn't mean that EVERYTHING on that shelfing is that price, especially if there's a big ol' sign next to it with a different price. Shut the fuck up, already.
- I don't care if you're an 90-year-old man, rolling in on his death bed, I MUST card every single person who wishes to buy alchohol. It is Tennessee state law that requires me to do this. I WILL get fired if that little black bubble above my register containing a camera in it sees me not carding you.
- Within the three months that I've worked at Wal-Mart, I've heard around 7 or 8 announcements about a parent having lost their kid in the store. ... If you don't want to take responsibility for your kid, then you either should have had an abortion or you should GROW THE FUCK UP AND NOT LET YOUR KID RUN AROUND FREELY!!! Seriously, what kind of idiots can lose a kid in a store? It doesn't take that much effort to keep them in the cart, or to hold their hand. Quit talking on your cellphone and shopping, and pay the fuck attention!
- A woman got ran over in our parking lot a few weeks ago. Seriously, if you're in that big of a hurry, why not just plow through the store and kill a bunch of people instead? Pedestrians have the right away whether there are stop signs all over the place in the parking lot or not. The store won't get up and walk away if you take your time getting through the parking lot, I promise.
- I once saw like a 9-year-old girl in a belly shirt and short shorts. I guess a mom somewhere wants her daughter to be a slut just like her someday. That's fucking ridiculous.
- When the register light is off, and there's a sign that says "Lane Closed" that means it's CLOSING. Just because I'm standing behind the register doesn't mean you should run over to me because there's no one in line.
- I especially love it when parents make their small children put the bags in their cart for them. I especially love the part where the kid drops the bag because it is much to heavy for them. Here's a little tip for all you moms and dads out there, your kid is NOT your slave. You've got arms and hands, use them.
- No, I don't want to join your church, religion, or cult. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
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gods_a_myth) wrote,
